Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) is a specialized process where a child is given the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. This is done with a neutral mediator during their parents’ separation or divorce.
Unlike standard mediation, which focuses solely on the adults, CIM recognizes that children are often the most affected by family changes. Even though they are often the most effected, they rarely have a voice in the outcome.
A specialist mediator meets with the child to listen to their perspective on the current arrangements and their hopes for the future. This is not about the child “choosing” which parent to live with. This would be an unfair burden, instead it is about ensuring their voice is heard and considered in the decision-making process.
After the session, and only with the child’s explicit permission, the mediator brings the child’s “messages” back to the parents.
This can be a powerful turning point in negotiations, as it shifts the focus from the parents’ conflict to the child’s actual lived experience.
Hearing a neutral summary of their child’s feelings often helps parents move past their own disputes and reach agreements. These agreements tend to be more sustainable and child-centered. CIM is increasingly encouraged for children aged ten and older, though it can be appropriate for younger children. This will depend on their maturity, as it fosters a sense of inclusivity and reduces the feeling that their lives are being decided behind closed doors.
The most fundamental difference between child-inclusive mediation and adult mediation is the shift in focus from negotiation to listening. In adult mediation, two parties actively negotiate a legally/practically viable agreement regarding finances/children by making mutual decisions.
In contrast, the session with the child is not a negotiation at all. The child is not asked to settle disputes or “split the difference” between their parents’ demands. Instead, the mediator provides a safe, confidential space for the child to express their feelings, anxieties, and wishes without the pressure of having to please either parent.
Furthermore, the confidentiality and feedback loops operate differently.
In adult mediation, parties generally treat all discussions as ‘without prejudice,’ meaning they cannot use these conversations in court. By contrast, in child-inclusive mediation, children exercise total control over what information they share with their parents. The mediator only reports back the specific messages or themes that the child explicitly agrees to release.
This creates a unique dynamic where the mediator acts as a “bridge” or a “voice” rather than a referee. This helps give the child’s perspective to help the adults reframe their negotiations around the child’s actual needs.
In the UK, the most common way to access funding for Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) is through the Ministry of Justice Family Mediation Voucher Scheme.
This scheme provides a contribution of up to £500 per family towards the costs of mediation in cases involving children.
The CIM process specializes in resolving child-related arrangements and improving co-parenting communication. It therefore, qualifies as a primary candidate for this voucher. Note that your income does not affect eligibility, as this is not a ‘means-tested’ program. Keep in mind that you can only apply the voucher for mediation sessions, not for the initial assessment (the MIAM).
If you are on a low income or receiving certain benefits, you may also be eligible for Legal Aid. This will cover the costs of mediation, including the child-inclusive element.
If one parent qualifies for Legal Aid, the initial assessment (MIAM) and the first mediation session are typically free for both parents. Any subsequent sessions remain covered for the eligible parent.
Your mediator can perform an assessment at the start of the process to determine if you qualify for Legal Aid. it Lega Aid is not an option, they can apply for the £500 voucher on your behalf. This financial support encourages families to resolve disputes outside of the courtroom, making it much easier for them to include a child’s voice.